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Nintendo Revise First Quarter Games For 2002
Pokémon "Insert Color Here" To Sell Like Hotcakes Feb/04/2002
Nintendo today released an updated list of their first quarter software for 2002. As well as the expected games, Nintendo have added some previously unheard of games from left field. URNN takes you though some of these new titles and gives you our impressions and if you're lucky, maybe even some screens.
 Pokémon "Insert Color Here"One of the last GBC games, this has been getting a lot of flack since it appeared on release lists a few months ago with claims it was being rushed out and was simply yet another cash-in on the Pokémon license, although we here at URNN are yet to see any evidence of this. On a totally unrelated note we do have a snippet of the story taken from pokemon.com, presented for our readers below:
Welcome to the world of Pokémon "Insert Color Here", where you will take on the role of "characters name here" and his best friend "friends name here", as you search for all new Pokémon, such as "Pokémon #259 alpha"TM and "Pokémon #254 beta"TM. And don't forget to keep your eyes open for "Pokémon #268 delta"TM, a very hard to find "Grass/Water/Ground whatever type here" Pokémon, who will help you on your quest. This is going to sell like hotcakes!
 Super Monkey BallsThe sequel to the Sega smash hit for GameCube, this game takes a rather unique approach to gameplay. Instead of players controlling a monkey in a clear plastic ball, you control two monkey balls in a "monkey sack." Having gone hands on with an early build of this game recently, I'd describe the gameplay as such: Imagine taking two marbles and putting them in a small, furry brown sock, placing said sock on a table and then tilting the table back and forth, up and down, trying to maneuver the sock around obstacles, and you get a pretty good idea for how this game plays. While playing, you'll find yourself constantly saying stuff like "What the hell were they thinking!?", "This shit just isn't natural man.." and the ever popular "Ooowwwwww.. GOD DAMN!" when your monkey balls land on different sides of an obstacle you failed to navigate accurately. The animation's just a little too realistic sometimes. The mechanics of the balls interacting are near flawless, and react to each other as you'd expect them to in real life. The question is, how the hell did the designers know what playing with monkey balls was like? I'd rather not talk about the multiplayer. That just plain scares me.
 Dirty Harry Potter in The Stoned PhilosopherThe game based on the best selling book and film series, Dirty Harry Potter tells the story of a jaded, burnt-out junior magician. A junior magician tired of the systems bureaucracy and red tape that lets evil Sorcerers walk right back out into the street as fast as he can imprison them in elfin caves. He turns in his cape and decides to take justice into his own, white gloved hands when his beloved trick bunny is murdered in cold blood. And that's where you, the player, comes in. Harry finds out that the apprentice thugs that killed Mr. Floppykins were all training under the evil Stoned Philosopher, a powerful level five philosopher who legend has it can levitate, or as the ancient scroll puts it; "ye old evil Stoned Philosopher can get really freaking high.." Hmmm.. should make for some interesting boss battles. Weapons will include Harry's stock standard Cult 45 and Spell Grenades.
 Super Smash Repairs Bros. MiniThis game will be filling the gapping hole in Nintendo "Car Body Repair" games that have been lacking since Square went over to Sony. This incarnation has decided to focus entirely on the Mini, with repair work now needing to be more detailed and completed in a shorter amount of time then the original Super Smash Repairs Bros. Toyota. The game now starts with a FMV showing the calamity that places the Mini in your garage to start with, and the entire intro is taken from real crash footage. You can almost hear the screams! In fact, you can hear the screams, and now in Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound. With 40 mechanics to choose from and eight hidden, each with their own garage level, this game looks like it will have huge replay value. Car body repair has never been this much fun.
 Resident Evil: Inappropriately Dressed For This SituationBased on the forthcoming Resident Evil movie, you play as Alice (played by Milla Jovovich in the movie), a women caught up in the evil plans of the Umbrella corporation and its rather unpleasant T-virus, while dressed in the most inappropriate attire. You'll play though secret underground labs, battle the undead and hideous monsters, all the while looking for a coat, jeans or maybe even shoes without heels. The game will also feature a unique Ankle Twist meter, which slows your character down to a crawl if she's getting too far ahead of enemies. This will be coming out just before the other games in the series, including "Resident Evil: Bad Voice Acting Wesker" and "Resident Evil 2: How Many Keys Does It Take To Open This Freaking Door?" which leads up to the game everyone's been waiting for, "Resident Evil 4: Disorientating Plot Holes Clarification." All GameCube exclusives too.
 Mario MoonshineThe game every man and his dog has been waiting for, Mario Moonshine is Mario's GameCube debut, and Miyamoto seems to be taking this game in new directions. Mario will traverse levels with a back mounted still, used for making various alcoholic brews or "Moonshine." Mario can often be seen checking the quality of his Moonshine, and a particularly good brew will even elicit a trademark "MUMMA MIA!", with "That's a good a Moonshine!" tacked onto the end.
The implementation of a unique Tanked meter keeps check of Mario's alcoholic consumption and at different levels Mario will be able to complete certain objectives:
This game looks like it will finally put to rest claims that Nintendo don't have any games aimed at the market that would like to "make Mario throw up in multicolours, drunkenly fondle Princess Peach, get into a fisticuffs with Toad and pass out under a bridge soaked in his own urine" for good! Well there you have it. Some interesting new additions there. If Nintendo make anymore changes to the Q1 games list, you can be sure you'll hear about it here, and only here, on UnReal Nintendo News.
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All articles & content on URNN are Copyright ©2001-2003. All Rights Reserved. URNN is in no way affiliated with Nintendo Ltd. or any of its subsidiaries, but if Shigeru Miyamoto happens to be reading this, please feel free to make me an offer!... *crickets chirping* ...Ahem.
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