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The Onion
Nintendo Of America President Steps Down
Minoru Arakawa "Retired"

Jan/12/2002

It was announced last Saturday that Nintendo of America's President for the past 22 years Minoru Arakawa has been "retired", effective immediately. The leader of the US subsidiary was forced from power early last Friday after failing the mandatory challenge for his position held every three years.

See ya!

Minoru Arakawa

This years challenge involved an eight hour session of GoldenEye 007 multiplayer (hand guns only). His combatant, Pokémon USA Head Tatsumi Kimishima, was the victor and will now be filling the position as head of NOA.

After his shocking 1559 -145 loss to Mr. Kimishima, Mr. Arakawa said he was, "very exhausted, and would like to get some sleep now, please." He then added that he "felt the time was right to step down and enable a new leadership, and I'm not just saying that because I lost."

URNN wishes him the best of luck for the future.

-Blake

 

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