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The Onion
Resident Evil Series Moves Exclusively To GameCube
Miyamoto & Soulless Zombie Shake On Deal

Sep/29/2001

Turn pictures on, you dolt! This took me ages to cut & paste...
A slightly nervous looking Miyamoto shakes hands with
soulless zombie.
In a move that has surprised the whole gaming community Capcom Entertainment and Nintendo have announced that the entire Resident Evil series is moving exclusively to the GameCube.

On hand at the announcement were Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamoto and a soulless zombie (who was filling in for Capcom's Shinji Mikami).

Miyamoto had this to say on the new deal:
"I usually don't attend game announcement events for other games, but when they told me to get my arse over here or I'd have to answer to soulless zombie, how could I refuse? It was at that time I thought the game would be a success."

Soulless Zombie added:
"Ahhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaagggg... slllllllllloooooooooooooooogggggishhhhh.... Braaaaaiinnnnnssssss........ BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!..."

He then slowly moved towards the reporters in the front row, arms outstretched, saying "Uurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..." That's when the satellite link was disconnected, and I hear the auditorium has since been cordoned off, but not to worry! I have received news that an elite squad of police officers has been sent in to investigate these apparent "mysterious circumstances." They're late checking back with HQ as of publish time, but I'll keep you updated.

-Blake

 

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