Aug/30/2001

Here we can see Homer, just before Miyamoto saw the clip.

One of the more shocking aspects of Spaceworld this year was when Shigeru Miyamoto (renowned Nintendo game designer) revealed he had a long lost half brother. As it happens, he only found out himself two days after the completion of last years Spaceworld.

Apparently overjoyed with the discovery of a blood brother (only know as "Homer" at this time), Miyamoto immediately let him take over development of one of his biggest franchises in the Nintendo stable, The Legend Of Zelda. Even when some of the other designers called Miyamoto to complain about Homer's 'unique' design ideas, Miyamoto kept faith, telling them to do whatever Homer told them to do, and that he didn't want to see the final product until Spaceworld 2001.

This proved to be a mistake on his part, as he found out at the unveiling last Thursday (Australian time).

"You could literally see the blood drain from Miyamoto's face as the clip started playing" said one journalist at the event who declined to be named.

As Homer tried to explain some of his ideas for the new "redesigned" Legend Of Zelda, Miyamoto fell to his knees clasping his head in his hands, softly sobbing "I'm ruined. Ruined!!!.."

"All you could hear was the slight squeak of the GameCube disc spinning and Miyamoto crying once the clip stopped" said Matt, another startled spectator who declined to give his last name.

"Homer was saying something like 'See, it's easier for us to animate this guy compared to the first design..' when a couple of burly Asian guys came onto the stage and dragged his ass off" Matt continued.

"That was the only time the crowd clapped for the entire event."

There's conflicting reports of what happened next, but it seems that minders of Miyamoto then began desperately trying to get all the film from the journalists present, saying in broken english "Show go wong! Plesssss be giving tapp for real good sing. Wong crip, we payed wong crip!"

Unfortunately, (for everyone, really) footage still made it out from the event thanks to all the pen cameras hidden on reporters for just such an occasion.

Miyamoto cannot be contacted at this time, and his publicist says he's having a "time out." When asked about his relationship with his half brother, we got this reply: "Homer's gone, he's out of the picture."

More on this shocking turn of events as it happens.

In related news, there was a small earthquake in Sydney on Friday night. Geologists are blaming this on the simultaneous 'slapping of heads' as the Zelda footage was downloaded and viewed.

"It measured three and a half on the seismograph" said the head of Sydney's Geology & Stuff Department, Dr. Paul Nolescky. There were no injuries.

-Blake